(Alternate title: One of those blog posts about me psychoanalyzing myself)
I maybe quite moody, yes. I maybe too emotional, oh yes. But I still don’t consider myself as having a disorder…much more a borderline personality disorder (BPD), considering that I don’t manifest most of the symptoms in the BPD checklist. There’s this one line, however, in this Psychology Today article (republished this week) that had me pegged:
“In my experience, the person I know with BPD has TOO MUCH empathy and reflects too much about how others are feeling and cannot deal with the overpowering emotions it brings out in her.”
Boom. The speaker here described how I am exactly. I consider it a curse, because this is one of the main reasons why I can be unhappy sometimes. I am trying, however, to rid myself of this. I must be more pragmatic and less emotional. No more mercy for those who do not deserve it. No more urge to take care of a random person who seem to need it. No more endless feelings of frustration if I am unable/can’t do anything to help someone who seem to need rescuing. No more confusion on whether what I am feeling is being in love, or just wanting to be there for someone who needs it. No more. No more. It is frustrating. IT IS EMBARRASSING.